H ave you ever expected something specific and got something totally different? You know, kind of like when you order a cheeseburger and fries at the drive-thru window and you get home to find that you don’t have any cheese on your burger.  Ughhhh!

Well, don’t feel like you’ve been singled out because things like this happens to all of us at one time or another and it’s not just exclusive to the drive-thru window of your local fast-food joint.  This unexpected reality can happen in many areas of our lives and yes this includes the area of marriage and relationships.

I distinctly remember the time when my union between me and my bride, Karen, had the new-car smell over 15 years ago.  I readily admit I had stars in my eyes along with visions of grandeur living the perfect marriage with the perfect mate.  A few things may have been cloudy from the beginning but my expectations were not one of them.  Yes, I knew what I wanted and expected and it was simple.  I expected my wife to be just like my mama.  I can only speculate about what Karen’s expectations were for me but I’m positive she didn’t get fully what she anticipated.

Well, as the innocence and the new-car smell of marriage started to be burned-off by the heat of life over time, we both started to see a collision progressing before our expectant eyes, a collision between our expectations and our reality.  You see, I wanted to have cheese on my hamburger with fries but the marriage-gods got my order all wrong.  Hmmm…

As the days passed, more and more collisions continued to occur.  My expectation vehicle was taking a HUGE beating and at times I even felt like my reality check was going to bounce me into oblivion.  But that was just the beginning of our story.

We both eventually made a conscious decision to turn the page and become more proactive in our approach to this “marriage” thing and quickly realized that in order to make any marriage work you will have to commit to constantly work on the most important factor in the marriage equation which is, “YOU.”   Yes my friends a better marriage starts with a better “YOU.”  You must commit to RPLA, Read, Participate, Listen and Associate to empower and equip yourself in the area of marriage and relationships on a regular basis to keep yourself sharp and ready to endure the upcoming battles and adversity because they’re definitely coming up the road ahead.

I know to most this is a tough pill to swallow, but if you break it up into bits and pieces and swallow it with the water of wisdom, I’m sure you will manage to get it down.  You see, no one of us is better than the sum of us as a couple, and if each commit to get better and better, you’ll find that the years will be kind to you.

Expectations aside.  One team, one game plan and a silent third partner makes the three strands, and my favorite book tells me that a three stand cord is not easily broken.  If you’re not sure who the third strand in question is, just pick up “The Good Book” (bible) and flip a few pages with an expectant heart and an open mind and soon you will find He’s one of a kind.

Yes, this “marriage” thing too is definitely worthy of your greatest of efforts in the days ahead.  I invite you to use this breadcrumb of wisdom to make your Marriage GREAT!

Couples Corner:    www.MrBreadCrumb.com